This Is Where The World Drops Off - Hey, Cel, this has GOT to be a sign of the Apocalypse!!!

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06 October 2009 @ 12:40 pm

Hey, Cel, this has GOT to be a sign of the Apocalypse!!!

So...*tries not to laugh*

The conservative wing of our country has a new project.

*tries VERY hard not to laugh*

They want to make the Bible more conservative.

Yeah.

They want to take "the more liberal" passages out of the Bible.

*begins to snicker*

Like, what, exactly? I'm curious. Like the part about "Love thy neighbor as thyself"? Or..."Blessed are the poor"? Oh...hey, I know!!!

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

See, below that, in teeny tiny script it says, "Cept for you screaming pinko Commie liberal bastards."

*loses it, dies laughing*

Oh, humans, you do amuse me so.

Let me leave you with my favorite part:

Rev 13:18 This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.

Sounds even better when...well, here. If we're all going to hell, let us have good music.

28 Spanks | Spank Me

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plasticine_star on October 6th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)

LMAO! Thanks Red, I needed a good laugh.

From Conservative Bible Project - Conservapedia:

Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity;

Then they have this: Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”;[5] using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census.

Which is it nut jobs? If you don't want to dumb down the text then you'd think that your peeps would be smart enough to get the "casting lots" thing y/n?

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vl_redreign on October 6th, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)

And, you know, what they really want to do is take out all the adultery shit and add more "Gays are going to the speshul hell, stay away from my ass!!"

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maxymama on October 6th, 2009 10:31 pm (UTC)

Oh man. *sputters uncontrollably*

I need to start my own country, where I can rule and make all of the stupid people leave.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)

If I started a country, I'd make it a law that no one could try to make someone else follow their religion. If they have one, they can practice it, but no parts of any religion would be in any law.

And all men would have to walk around nekkid. *nods*

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maxymama on October 7th, 2009 01:08 am (UTC)

All men? Ewww.

I agree with freedom of religion. I think if everyone actually practiced it, a lot of problems would go away.

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zaipixie on October 6th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)

Words. I have no words. None.

See icon, please.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 12:54 am (UTC)

See, this is what happens when people don't understand what democracy means.

I swear, sometimes...*headdesk*

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anaquana on October 6th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)

I saw this on Twitter yesterday.

I mean really, they have a problem with Jesus' line of "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

What gets me is that, according to them, the Bible is the ineffable, literal Word Of God. It's not a morality tale. It's not a myth. If that's so, how can they even think that it's okay to fuck with it?

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alafaye on October 7th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)

I accidentally insulted my grandma...she's a Jehova's Witness and to her, it's all fact. When she asked me what I believe, she mentioned Adam and Eve and I said "I know the story" and her response? "It's not a story. It's a fact." O.o I guess that's what faith is.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC)

See, that's what I was taught. It's not fiction, it's fact. That God said all that stuff, or passed it along to Paul and them to spread, like you do with test papers in class.

Religion is a dangerous thing. This is why I don't go to church any more, and why I just say my prayers by myself. My relationship with God is just that, me and him. And I'm good with people that worship whomever or whatever, or nothing at all. THAT'S what freedom is. Leaving other people the fuck alone to do their thing, long as it doesn't bother your life.

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anaquana on October 7th, 2009 01:12 am (UTC)

Amen, sistah!

*hugs*

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alafaye on October 7th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)

More conservative? Why not just take the passages they want, write them up in a little book and call it the Republican book? It would be easier.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)

These are the same people that wear teabags on their heads and don't realize that Medicare/Medical is a "government-run, socialized program."

I pity the stupid.

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not_yet_defined on October 7th, 2009 12:43 am (UTC)

I thought the bible was the word of god? how can they rewrite it???????

and that is not good music, yo. lol

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not_yet_defined on October 7th, 2009 12:54 am (UTC)

ps...i'm so totally stealing this story for my facebook where all of my bible thumping christian conservative relatives have me friended.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)

Oh, go for it!!! And you can borrow anything I said if you want!!!

Scare them!! Tell them Dean Winchester is coming, and he's armed and pissed!

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firehead30 on October 7th, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)

Thus sayeth Fire....

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)

Eye noes, right!?!?!?!

Hey, can't help it that your taste in music sucks. rotfl

Iron Maiden is teh shizzle, yo!!! And I used to be able to do that scream, too!

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the_minx_17 on October 7th, 2009 01:47 am (UTC)

I have absolutely nothing polite to say. Nothing.

Wanna run away with me now?

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)

Yes, please!!!!

Take me away from this place!!!!! *clings*

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snapesgirl_62 on October 7th, 2009 01:56 am (UTC)

k, I think my brain started to asplode and leak out of my ears when I first heard this report. Each time I see the story, it just gets worse.

Are they going for more of the big screen "follow the bouncing ball" when you sing churches of "feel good"?

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 03:25 am (UTC)

Mine, too!

These people clearly have nothing better to do. Have they not learned anything??

The Puritans came here and the first thing they did was accuse their neighbors of witchcraft, then had them killed. DUDE!!!! These people wouldn't know a real witch if it walked up and hexed them!

Okay, I need some Craft icons. I'm feeling like Nancy right now. lol

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snapesgirl_62 on October 7th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC)

it's folks like those that I get into the most trouble with. I am active in my parish and I have a liberal arts degree and am not afraid to use it. LOL

nothing better than getting some uber conservative geek's knickers in a twist with a dose of historic facts. Mom's made me promise to behave at family gatherings. She also has the same promise from the far right members of the family.

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sandid on October 7th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)

We humans are truly amazing sometimes.

We believe in some colossal bullshit, often.

I swear half of us would follow some fool calling himself WTF off the highest cliff.

I'm laughing with you....

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 03:27 am (UTC)

"Yo, you do what you want, I'm going with WTF."

rotflmao

You are so right! Thank goodness some of us took the blinders off, huh

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sandid on October 7th, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)

Seriously, I'm from Missouri and the Morman dude, WTF thinks that Jesus is coming back to Missouri. He has his own spire in Independence. I think its going to hurt like hell when he lands on it.

*shrugs*

but, yeah....those blinders weren't for me. I hate being in the dark. You run into to much crap.

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firehead30 on October 7th, 2009 03:50 pm (UTC)

"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother" (1 John 4:19-21 NIV). Yeah, this one should go too.

STUOOOOOOOOOOpid conservative nit wits.

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vl_redreign on October 7th, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)

Perfect!!!!

That verse sums it up beautifully.

Dumb ass people, they're in for a rude awakening when Judgement Day comes.

"Huh!?!?! I gotta go to Hell?? But why??? I thought this is what you wanted me to do!!"

God (to Peter): "Anyone comes through with the S for Stupid on their foreheads, just use the trapdoor."

Peter" "You got it, boss."

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